doing the work

Oh look! A totally random post by your friendly, overwhelmed underdog publisher!

I feel guilty, and I feel out of breath. I haven’t told you everything I’ve been doing, stuff you don’t see, things you won’t hear about, and yet I’ve been running myself ragged. Maybe this is just what it means to take on a career of passion. Maybe this is what the learning curve will look like for a while. So this is your update, a kind of a catch-up post, a place for me to spill out the things that have been happening and the work yet to come. Apologies now for the mess ahead.

I made an announcement back at the start of June, a reckless declaration that I was becoming a publisher, that I was creating a small, independent press for trans books by trans authors. There is steam shoving this dream forward at a pace that’s hard to keep up with most days.

I’ve been meeting with authors!

And my gracious, they’re incredible! I can’t wait to tell you about them, about the stories they’re going to tell, about the books we’re envisioning together.

I’ve been drafting publishing contracts!

Holy shit this is hard!

I’ve been networking!

I meet weekly with other publishers, editors, authors, writing groups, and so many people with great advice, solid warnings, or friendly reminders. I have been learning and learning and learning. And every time I think I know what’s coming, another curve ball comes my way. It’s okay. The bruises are important.

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And in between all of these crazy, delightful moments of joy, I am constantly crippled with the intense fear that I can’t do this, I am not good enough, I’m bound to fail, or worse, something will make me stop wanting to chase this love affair altogether. There’s no better way to explain it—I’m deeply in love with this work, and I still know I’m not enough to do it justice. Stopping isn’t the answer. I have to fumble through and hope that hope is enough, that passion will pull me through the hard parts, that people around me will be forgiving.

I probably shouldn’t tell you all of this. I should say something inspiring, something that helps you feel confidence in me as a publisher, as “the real deal.” But if you saw me right now, if you saw the bruises and the lack of sleep, if you looked through all the files I keep to organize this mountain of information, if you felt the fear rushing through my veins, you might (rightly) wonder why I’m still here.

I follow a lot of other indie publishers and authors. They way they talk about their presses and their businesses sounds so… official, so professional. It’s inspiring and intimidating. And I’m the guy brewing beer in the garage (not really, I don’t have time for that), just wishing enough people might show up to help cover the cost of doing this thing I clearly love. My garage, my actual garage in real life, will be where those first few pallets of boxes of books get delivered, the boxes filled with stories those brilliant authors are hard at work writing right now, and maybe you’ll be the person who drives by and fills up your growler with a great story.

GenderWild Press isn’t the kind of place that’s going to wow you with flashy marketing and branding. We’re not angling for coverage in the top newspapers. We’re going to struggle hard just to get a toe in the door of brick-and-mortar bookshops.

But it’s worth it to keep showing up anyway.

We’ve got heart, we’ve got passion, and we’re willing to walk to hell and back in defense of the Oxford comma. You’re going to adore the books we create, and maybe you’ll even come write your own story alongside us.

Your boot-strapping founder,

Robin

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PS – While our first cohort of authors is getting established, submissions will remain open for the next books to follow in our catalog. Publishing is a long game. If you’re interested in submitting a manuscript, or if you have questions, we would love to hear from you.